Today I saw someone on the street that I used to be friends with. I have absolutely no idea why she quit returning my phone calls and emails. I admit, maybe I scared her away by seeming too eager for friendship. Maybe I said something that offended her. Maybe we just didn’t click as well as I thought we did. Truthfully, I’m just as clueless today as I was a year ago when she quit the friendship.
I can’t remember where I read this (so if you wrote it, I’m not trying to plagiarise, I just have a bad memory) but it has helped me hurt less. “Looking for the reason why someone rejected you is like running back into a burning building and looking for the source of the fire.” I always think it would be easier to move on after a hurt if I had resolution, but really, honestly, you don’t really want to know why someone rejected you. It would be easy to say I don’t care or that seeing her didn’t affect me, but I would be lying. I felt a pang in my heart. Letting go of hurt is hard. I didn’t stop the car.
When I was in second grade I came home from school one day in tears. I told my mom that my best friend Tammy had told me that I was only her second best friend and that Amanda was her first best friend. I was crushed because I considered Tammy MY first best friend, why didn’t she return my loyalty and love? My mom very wisely refrained from giving an easy answer. She simply said, “The people you love the most can hurt you the worst.” I cried.
I can’t say that she was my best friend by any stretch of the imagination, but seeing my old acquaintance on the street brought back that same Second grade sense of rejection. I’m glad I didn’t stop the car.