Within the last few months I have had two separate conversations with two separate girlfriends about this topic: Waiting for the second shoe to drop. Both of my friends grew up in families where the men were either abusive or absent. Both of my friends are now in loving relationships with wonderful men- one married, one almost engaged. And both of them have told me that in the beginning of their relationship they found themselves picking fights with their man and doing crazy stuff just to drive him nuts.
One girlfriend said, “I couldn’t understand why I was acting this way, but I just kept pushing him and pushing him. It was like I was trying to see how far I could go before he abandoned me. I needed to know where his breaking point was.”
My other girlfriend told me that it took her years to build up trust in her husband, and in God. She kept thinking, “Things are going too good… when is God going to drop the other shoe on me? When is this guy going to walk out on me?” She learned to trust the stability of God by learning to trust the stability of her godly husband.
Both men took the time and effort to prove their worth to the women they loved. One guy said, “I’m not like the men in your family! I’m not going to walk out on you.” And that was that. A solid promise that brought peace to the inner turmoil of her mind and heart. She could stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I don’t know if there is a psychological term for “waiting for the other shoe to drop” but on some level most of us deal with this kind of fear. Whether we believe in God or not, there remains a fear that the bubble will indeed burst someday. Our past experience has taught us that no one is perfectly happy, or that happiness doesn’t last, or that when you are at the peak of your happiness that’s when disaster will target you.
At the root of fear is always a lie. This fear is rooted in the lie that says, “God has it out for you.” God doesn’t want you to be too happy. If you’re too happy, you’ll draw the attention of a spiteful God who will focus his revenge on you in order to take you down a notch. But it’s a lie.
God has told us that He is FOR us not AGAINST us. He has come to give us LIFE ABUNDANTLY. And he has our best interests at his heart, always. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'” Jeremiah 29:11 This is the truth. These are the promises of God with which you fight the lies of your great Enemy. God doesn’t lie.
He’s on your side, so you can just exhale, Baby! God is for you all the way! There is no other shoe waiting to drop. Happiness doesn’t have to be short lived, peace does not have to be temporary. Joy is meant to be deep and satisfying. You can trust God, he’s not out to squash you like a bug. He has good plans for you, Good Things.