I’m such a Pretender


Here on wordpress we have these little hover cards that connect a picture to our blogger avatar. So the other day I hovered over someone’s picture and read the bio that came with the avatar.  This person described himself very simply and ended with “and I pretend to go to the gym”.  That gave me a little chuckle.  I thought, “Well he’s a step ahead of me!  I don’t even PRETEND to go to the gym.”  But that got me thinking about the little things in life that we all pretend we do.

For example, have you ever pretended to know what you’re doing when you’re really just winging it?  “I meant to do that.”  Sometimes pretending that you know what you’re doing is the way to fly under the radar, like when you’re wandering through a part of the building where you’re not supposed to be.  “Just act natural.”  Sometimes it’s the way to go with the flow and learn as you go along.  “Pretend you know what you’re doing.”  And sometimes it’s a way to hide your inadequacies.  “Just smile and wave, boys, smile and wave.”

So here’s a short list of Things I Pretend to Do:

~ I pretend to exercise.  I lay down in bed at night and think, “My whole body aches, surely I did something strenuous and exercis-ish to induce this much pain.  I’m sure I was in constant motion for the last 18 hours.”

~ I pretend to follow the news when I really don’t care that much about what’s happening in America.  I don’t live there and it annoys me that Americans think that what happens in their country is so important to the rest of the world.  It isn’t.  (And I don’t care about celebrities either.  It seems like a lot of the news now days is about them.)  

~ I pretend to understand finances when numbers really just go in one ear and out the other… same reason that I can’t remember dates or telephone numbers.  That’s why they invented speed dial!  (I only remember Josh’s old cell phone number which now belongs to a friend.  If I ever have an emergency, I will probably call him instead!)

~ I pretend pray more than I do, sometimes I just make lists in my head or fall asleep mid prayer.  Mostly I just worry and call that prayer.  I’m not proud of that, but it’s true for a lot of us, I think.

~  Sometimes I pretend to understand what people are saying to me in Spanish when I’m really just a sentence or two behind.  For example, yesterday a teacher stopped me in the hallway and started speaking to me about something.  I nodded and murmured “uh-hu” a few times.  But because my brain was in full English mode at that moment, it took me about 3 sentences to capture the THEME of this conversation.  Once I realized WHAT she was talking about I was able to mentally back track and think, “now what did I just commit to do?”  I was going with the flow and pretending I understood each word when I was really racing to catch up with her.

That’s my life immersed in a second language.  I pretend I know what’s going on around here.  I pretend like I know where I’m going.  I pretend like I’m supposed to be here.  I pretend like nothing’s wrong.  And most of the time it all shakes out in the end.

About amamiot

My family and I are missionaries in Costa Rica. Before that we lived in Mexico and before that we came from Minnesota. I am a teacher, an artist, a "journaler", a quilter, a cooker, a baker, a hostess, a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend. I like reading and watching movies (ehem, and quoting movie lines). I would love to be in a Jane Austin movie but I don't know how to ballroom dance or play Whist.

One response »

  1. Pingback: song: “pretend (to be alright)” « power of language blog: partnering with reality by JR Fibonacci

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