Tag Archives: anticipation

Waiting for the other shoe to drop

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Within the last few months I have had two separate conversations with two separate girlfriends about this topic:  Waiting for the second shoe to drop.  Both of my friends grew up in families where the men were either abusive or absent.  Both of my friends are now in loving relationships with wonderful men- one married, one almost engaged.  And both of them have told me that in the beginning of their relationship they found themselves picking fights with their man and doing crazy stuff just to drive him nuts.

One girlfriend said, “I couldn’t understand why I was acting this way, but I just kept pushing him and pushing him.  It was like I was trying to see how far I could go before he abandoned me.  I needed to know where his breaking point was.”

My other girlfriend told me that it took her years to build up trust in her husband, and in God.  She kept thinking, “Things are going too good… when is God going to drop the other shoe on me?  When is this guy going to walk out on me?”  She learned to trust the stability of God by learning to trust the stability of her godly husband.

Both men took the time and effort to prove their worth to the women they loved.  One guy said, “I’m not like the men in your family!  I’m not going to walk out on you.”  And that was that.  A solid promise that brought peace to the inner turmoil of her mind and heart.  She could stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I don’t know if there is a psychological term for “waiting for the other shoe to drop” but on some level most of us deal with this kind of fear.  Whether we believe in God or not, there remains a fear that the bubble will indeed burst someday.  Our past experience has taught us that no one is perfectly happy, or that happiness doesn’t last, or that when you are at the peak of your happiness that’s when disaster will target you.

At the root of fear is always a lie.  This fear is rooted in the lie that says, “God has it out for you.”  God doesn’t want you to be too happy.  If you’re too happy, you’ll draw the attention of a spiteful God who will focus his revenge on you in order to take you down a notch.  But it’s a lie.

God has told us that He is FOR us not AGAINST us.  He has come to give us LIFE ABUNDANTLY.  And he has our best interests at his heart, always.  “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'” Jeremiah 29:11  This is the truth.  These are the promises of God with which you fight the lies of your great Enemy.  God doesn’t lie.

He’s on your side, so you can just exhale, Baby!  God is for you all the way!  There is no other shoe waiting to drop.  Happiness doesn’t have to be short lived, peace does not have to be temporary.  Joy is meant to be deep and satisfying. You can trust God, he’s not out to squash you like a bug.  He has good plans for you, Good Things.

Worry Warts

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This is for all you worry warts out there.  This is what the Urban Dictionary says about the phrase “waiting for the other shoe to drop” which is the title of tomorrow’s’ blog:

To await an event that is expected to happen, due to being causally linked to another event that has already been observed. Gets its origin from the following joke.

A guest who checked into an inn one night was warned to be quiet because the guest in the room next to his was a light sleeper. As he undressed for bed, he dropped one shoe, which, sure enough, awakened the other guest. He managed to get the other shoe off in silence, and got into bed. An hour later, he heard a pounding on the wall and a shout: “When are you going to drop the other shoe?” Thus the term “waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
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Do you ever have seasons in your life where you feel like you just can’t catch your breath?  Why don’t you just kick me when I’m down!!  Gesh!  What does a girl/guy need to do to catch a break around here?  Are you kidding me?  THIS on top of everything else I’m dealing with right now?  To use another cliché, when it rains, it pours.  Having experienced times like that, it’s only natural to feel like one bad thing can start a land slide of disaster in your life.
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But here’s my Oh-So-Profound advice from the movie “When Harry Met Sally”.  Remember when they are driving from Chicago to New York after college and he asks her, “Do you ever think about death?”  He then brags about how much he thinks about death in order to make himself sound like a deep person.  He says, “I’m just sayin’ when it comes down, I’m going to be ready for it.”
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And Sally quips back, “Well in the meantime you’ll ruin your life waiting for it!”
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You can stop waiting for the other shoe to drop, and tomorrow I’ll tell you why.  For now, just breathe… exhale… and stop worrying.  You’re not being buried alive, it just feels that way now.  You’re not being singled out as a victim.  You’re not being punished.  Hope is just around the corner… in tomorrow’s blog.