I have two girls. With the exception of the toddler nudey phase, my girls are very modest. I have never had to tell either of them to go back in the house and change their clothes to something that covers more skin. Neither of them even wear shorts- but that’s a result of living in Latin American cities where NO ONE wears shorts except tourists and prostitutes.
This last week we hosted a team of Christian university students to work with our Costa Rican students. While hanging out on the big campus close to our house, a couple of boys took pictures of themselves with a couple of cheerleaders who were practicing on the soccer field. Of course there was good humor from both the boys and girls involved, nothing scandalous or truly inappropriate, just flirting. The pictures went on Facebook.
When my 6-year-old daughter saw the cheerleaders, she said, “Oh Mom, those are NOT good girls.” I blinked and pondered how to answer her. We don’t usually point out other people’s clothing or make judgements based on their appearance, so I wondered where my Kindergartener picked up the idea that those girls were bad girls.
I gently corrected her. I said, “We don’t know what they are really like, but they are not dressed modestly.”
“What does Modestly mean?” She asked.
I told her that a modest girl will cover her private parts- the ones covered by your swimsuit- and not show too much skin in other places too. (In our Youth ministry we had a “Say NO to Crack” policy- no butt cracks and no cleavage.) I thought it was pretty vague, and I was content with that. However, she piped up with another question, “Are those girls showing their BOOBS?” Well, almost but not quite. I’m pretty sure I have a headband that is bigger than parts of their uniform. I just chuckled at how black and white her little world is.
Those girls were finding their value in being sexual symbols– objects to satisfy the lusts of young men. That is sad. They don’t know their value. They don’t know what they are worth to God. My Kindergartener understands that… Now I just have to work on her judgemental streak!
This is a little story that I hope will clarify something for all those women who use their boobs to get attention.
Many years ago in our days of youth ministry we attended dozens of high school plays. One sticks out in my mind. After the play, I was standing in the packed lobby of the school theater. It was raining and my husband had run out to the parking lot to pull up the car for me. As I waited, I indulged in a little people watching. There was a very pretty young girl also waiting at the door. She was probably about 16 years old, very chesty and wearing a top that showed more than it covered. Her belly was showing and her low riders were riding millimeters above where her underwear should have been. She was smiling dreamily at her reflection in the glass.
What she didn’t notice was a really crusty old man standing at her left. He was looking her up and down with the most vile, ogling look on his face. While she was day dreaming about that cute guy in her Algebra class, some nasty guy was sexing her up in his mind. I’m pretty sure I threw up in my mouth.
Here’s the point, when you use your body to get a guy…
You THINK this is who you will attract:
But in reality, you have a better chance of attracting this:
It’s just logistics. There are waaaaay more nasty guys out there then there are straight, single, heart throbs just waiting around for a girl like you. And even if Brad Pitt DID see your hot bod, would he dump that other woman for you?
So Girls and Women, I know you are tempted “to use what you got”. But please be aware that the bait you use determines the type of fish you’ll catch. If you use your boobs to attract men, you will only attract men who like to look at women’s boobs. It’s plain and simple. And that’s not the kind of guy you really want… even if he does look like Brad Pitt.
Not all attention is equal. Save those awesome boobs for the man that you caught with your brilliant mind and witty conversation and kind heart. Then when you’re both old and grey (and less perky than you used to be), he’ll still appreciate your heart, mind and conversation and still love you for them. It’s worth it to fish with the right kind of bait.