Tag Archives: good marriage

True Love Doesn’t Count the Candles on Your Cake

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Today is my husband’s 40th birthday.  He’s been a little bummed about this number for the better part of a year now.  I just can’t believe that we’ve been together for so many years.  He’s my best friend.  There is no one I’d rather spend a free day with.  There is no one I’d rather travel the world with.  At the end of the day, he’s the one I want to talk to.  When he’s with me, everything feels better.

We have history together.  I don’t care to remember much about life before Josh came along.  All of our adult life has been spent together.  We have celebrated more than 20 birthdays together and almost that many anniversaries.  We’ve made plans and dreamed together.  We’ve become parents together.  We’ve bought and sold houses, started and quit jobs, gotten lost and found ourselves again, laughed and cried together.  We share our past.  Occasionally when I look at a newly wed couple and think how sweet it would be to be falling in love all over again- I stop myself and think of all that history that we would lose if we started over again.  I remind myself that I would never really want to go back and do it again- it’s too much work to recreate what we have.  I don’t envy those just starting out.  Our relationship just keeps getting richer and deeper and more fulfilling as the years roll by.

We also have chemistry with each other.  I remember one time when I was talking with my girlfriends about our husbands.  I said, “I love that Josh can still give me butterflies in my stomach with just one look across a crowded room.”  I wasn’t being sappy or gushy, I was just making a comment that we hadn’t lost that spark.  I was shocked and sad when several of my girlfriends commented that their spouses had NEVER given them butterflies in their stomaches.  I thought,  “Wow, we really have something special then.”  I quit taking that for granted and now I know that we have a rare thing.  We can read each other’s moods without saying anything.  We know each other better than anyone else knows us.  We are one.

It’s pretty stereotypical to say that men struggle with turing 40- I’ve known many women who struggle with that number too.  But I want my husband to know that in my eyes, he’s never been more handsome than he is right now.  In my heart, I’ve never loved him more than I do at this moment.  I love that we are growing older together and we still want to be together.  I don’t take that for granted.  I know that is the stuff that dreams are made of.

So happy 40th birthday to the love of my life and my best friend.  Our adventure is just getting exciting!  I love you, Babe!

A Downton Abbey Super Bowl Party

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**Spoiler alert for Downton Fans, I’m starting season 3 tonight… If you aren’t that far yet, you might not want to read the second to the last paragraph of this blog.**

This is a very rare Sunday blog post because, as many of you know, today is a very special day.  Today is Super Bowl Sunday, the most important day in my husband’s year.  To say that my husband is an avid sports fan would be an understatement.  I have actually caught him watching tennis on TV when there were no other sports on, and he doesn’t even PLAY tennis.  He plays softball and watches football and seems to find a sport to watch on TV for every season.  He has even taken up watching soccer since we moved to Latin America.  Everyone knows that soccer is called football outside of the United States, in contrast to American Football.  Now he enjoys them both, though American football is still the clear favorite.  Every year he participates in no less than 5 fantasy football leagues.  And Super Bowl Sunday is the High Holy Day of AMERICAN football fans.

We have been married for 18 years, happily married.  The irony is that I don’t care one iota about sports of any kind.  They do say that opposites attract, and for us, that must be true.  When we were dating I tried to go to as many of his softball games as I could.  I honestly tried to pay attention and learn the sport, but I just couldn’t manage.  I even tried PLAYING on a women’s team one summer.  I would stand in the outfield making mental lists of all the ways I could be better spending this hour than playing a sport.  I had to admit that I just don’t care about sports.  When the babies started coming to our family, it was a good excuse not to go to games anymore and I gradually bowed out of that obligation.

But we HAVE made this marriage work, because I support his need to play.  I do not just tolerate it.  I find ways to help him get that sports fix, because he’s a much happier person when he has a sports outlet in his life.  I have always told him that he can invite his guy friends over to watch games, and I’ll even make snacks for them and keep the children out of the way while the men watch a game.  I figure it’s a better option than him going to some sports bar or wings joint to watch the game.  At least I know where he is.  So in the spirit of supporting my sports addict, I help him host a Super Bowl party every year.

This year I got smart.  A friend of mine bought and iTunes subscription to Downton Abbey season 3, which we can’t get on TV here in Costa Rica (It’s blocked for some reason, international copy right laws, they say.  They don’t follow ANY other laws here, but they drag this one out when my favorite show is an issue!)  So my friend suggested that we set up a projector in another room and show the first few episodes of Downton while the Super Bowl is going on down on the big screen.  Suddenly I was excited about the Super Bowl!  Now instead of hovering around the guacamole all night long, as I previously planned, I’m going to be in all my girly-glory agonizing over whether Edith will ever get married or if Lord Grantham can accept Sybil’s marriage to the chauffeur or if Anna will manage to get Mr. Bates acquitted of murdering his wife.  Agh!  I’m excited!  It’s going to be a Jolly good time, I’m sure.

So in the spirit of my Downton Abbey Super Bowl party, a friend of mine sent me this Youtube link.  Apparently I’m not the first one to have this idea.  Here’s the Downton Abbey Super Bowl Mash-up.  Just hearing the theme music makes my heart flutter with excitement!