A Vaccination for Adolescence

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preteen

Why haven’t they developed a vaccination for adolescence?  Why bother searching for a cure for cancer when only a certain percentage of the population will ever get?   Better to focus on something we all go through at least once with our own raging hormones and often go through again when we have children.

Last week I invented a new word to describe my middle child in her pre-teen mood:  “Attitudy”.  It can be either an adjective describing her in this phase or an adverb describing her actions.   It is a good word.  It accurately describes how I feel about eye rolls, a sassy tone of voice, and sullen pouting.  The word has kind of a bathroom quality about it.  Only a potty word can accurately capture the essence of the tween.  Yes, Attitudy is a useful word, and you’re welcome to use it too.

Maybe instead of searching for a medical option to cure adolescence, we should look into some kind of residency program, like a cross between summer camp and an insane asylum. We could call it… Boarding School.  It’s got a ring to it.  “Attitudy Academy”.  What do you all think?  All in favor of Boarding School for the temporally insane pre-teens say AYE!

Lord help us.  No wonder in the Bible we often see young teenage Bible characters out in the fields tending the sheep.  Probably they were just disrupting the peace of the home too much, so their parents sent them waaaaay out into the fields.  They needed to be alone and to blow off some steam by throwing rocks at giants and such.  I’m just hopping this one doesn’t sell her sister to a band of traveling Midianites.  (I’ll have to make a mental note to steer clear of anyone traveling by camel.)  

Although not Biblical, the story of Sleeping Beauty is making a lot more sense to me now:  just put her into a coma until we can marry her off.  Well, maybe I’ll have to keep searching for that vaccination for adolescence.

Photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/twodolla/4192187548/”>twodolla</a&gt; / <a href=”http://foter.com”>Foter.com</a&gt; / <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>CC BY</a>

5 responses »

  1. One of my favorite one lines is in the movie ‘The Planet of the Apes’. The newer one, not the original. One of the star apes was about to buy a human child as a pet for his niece. The ape running the slave trade said “just make sure you get rid of her before puberty. The last thing you want in your house is a human teenager.” I snicker every time! So true!

  2. I’m going to look for it! I know for a fact I have a photo of you rolling your eyes at me when you were a teenager! Your mom and I are laughing our heads off now. We will pray for you, but only a little. The whole thing is just too funny . . . but maybe it came from Josh’s side . . . or not! love, Dad.

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